Just don't

Please don't! Just don't. Don't ever let me develop the hating feeling toward u people.  I want to love u as part of my family member.  I still want to have family like u people.  So pls.  Be responsible and thoughtful. Jangan pikir nk main lepaskn tanggungjawab mcm tu je bila ada responsibility yg lain.  Tau la ure one carrier mom, but it doesn't mean u can just let my mom doing everything on ur behalf.  Mentang2 opah stay dgn my family wat masa ni,  mmg mak aku la yg kena basuh berak,  jaga makan pakai nenek aku?  Jadi apa plk ure responsibility as a daughter-in-law? Kalo pun xsudi nk jaga, nk basuh berak, then at least do lend ur hand by belikan barang keperluan opah or her medicine. Or hire one maid to help my mom with her job.  Sapa kata housewife tu keje blh goyang kaki?  Blh makan tido tgk tv?  Mentang2 mh mom housewife, my mom je la kena watkan semua?  Its just unfair.  So unfair.  I just pity my mom.  Pity u mom,  umi dah xde masa for herself,  masa nk jln2, nk rehat di waktu petang. Sudah la mak sendiri stay kat rumah sndiri,  tambah lg mom-in-law.  Seriuss kalo i in ur shoes,  dah lama i surrender,  i give up.  I xkuat mcm my mom.  N i xrajin mcm my mom.  I pun jenis main lepas cakap,  xde masa nk pikir perasaan org lain bila perasaan sendiri xterjaga.  So pls people,  do have some consciousness , think about other people oso,  dont just do everything in ur own way je.  Ini ur responsibility dlm konteks lain.  Ingt bila dah ada one responsibility, responsibility yg lain blh diignore kan ke?  Please laa.  Rasa dah xmampu nak senyum depan uolls macam xde apa2 yg berlaku.  Dah xmampu nk berpura2 mcm ak xkesah hal ini semua.  Sungguh rasa hipokrit

Special note to myself

Hey girl!  Why r u living ur life so hypocritically? Trying ur best to please others,  to 'suit in'with others? Did they give u the money?  Any kind of reward maybe?  Yeah I'm not the cheerful girl type,  or u may define it as 'hambar'.  I'm not that good to join with ur kind of uselessly conversation, or join in with any kind of conversation that are not even relate to me. U guys may refer it as a kelemahan but not for me.  I accept it wholeheartedly. Itsokayy I might have less number of friends but one thing for sure,  i get quite a number of 'real friends'.  The one that accept me as the way I am, always help me whenever i need them,  be patient with me, not easily getting irritated, and many more.  InshaAllah our friendship will last long till Jannah. I wont ask for more,  i don't need that damn recognition bc I'm not the type of attention-seeker.  I just hope that u guys will understand me more and not going to left me behind juz bc im kind of org yg senyap or xbnyk ckp.  With this note,  I hope i would gain more confident in my life,  not really concern of people opinion toward me,  and live my life calmly. Cause this is my life,  not them.